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How Getting Clear On What You ‘Really’ Want & More Importantly ‘Why’ You Want It Is The Key To Making It Happen In 2018

How is 2018 treating you so far? Did you know that last Monday was ‘Blue Monday’? Apparently the day of the year when people are at their most sad, all the excitement of Christmas over and not much to look forward to. Apparently being back in work and Summer being a good few months away is enough reason to want to forget the New Year altogether and hibernate.

Well, this may be the case for some people, where I come from we don’t need a holiday company making up days and telling us when to feel happy of sad. That said it is worth noting that Blue Monday is indeed the week before it is predicted most of us fall off the wagon and give up on our New Year Resolutions. Maybe there is something to think about when it comes to staying on track or achieving our goals. I want to touch on the topic of goals or desired outcomes. Usually, we make a goal or commitment based on what we desire as an outcome that we believe we are able to control. These targets are also ones we (usually) think are achievable. If this is the case, why do so many of use not achieve our goals or resolutions? Well there are a few reasons. The first being a lack of clarity on what we really desire.

Many of us go ahead and set goals without questioning if they are linked what we really want. Take getting a promotion at work. We may set the intention to secure a promotion based on wanting to make more money, which is a want -  but what if you don’t like where you work and your real desire is to leave the company and or set up your own business. If the desire to leave is greater than the desire to make more money, you may find multiple reasons why the promotion never happens. So, the goal should probably be to make more money doing something you like rather than apply for a promotion.

It could be the same with a weight loss goal. You may set a target to lose weight to fit back into a certain outfit and find you can’t stick the self prescribed diet. If you dig a little deeper the truth might be you want to feel better about yourself but rather than losing weight, buying some new clothes that make you feel amazing, exactly as you are is the answer. Both options could give similar outcomes but one can be reached far quicker, with less stress and comes from a place of self-acceptance rather than needing to be ‘fixed’ in some way.

Sometimes we lack clarity if we set a goal based on what we think we should achieve which, could be based on what others tell us we should focus on or what we see others have achieved. Hitting a £5k month in our business sounds amazing but are you actually happy with £2.5k months working part-time?

The second reason we may not achieve our goals is because they aren’t linked to our core values. Take the £5k month again. One of our core values might be family, spending quality time and making it a priority. If in pursuing a 5k month required spending lots of time creating products and programs and reduced the time you could spend with your family or partner, you may find yourself procrastinating on doing the work required. A better goal may be to commit to increasing your prices so you can afford to do more with the family. Do you see how very similar goals can have very different outcomes depending on how they are anchored?

This brings us to our third reason we may not make it happen in 2018; knowing ‘why’ we want what we want. No matter who we are or the goals we set, we all have a ‘why’. This requires us to dig a little deeper in setting goals. Here are a few questions you can ask yourself to get to the heart of why you want the outcome you believe achieving your goal will give you. Why is this goal important? Why is it a non-negotiable? What would be the impact if it wasn’t achieved?

Once you are clear on why a goal is important it makes it easier to plan for success by including backup plans, milestones and possibly some rewards to help with motivation. Taking these actions can help turn goals into promises to yourself rather than challenging things you have to do. No-one likes to break a promise :)

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